The year before, I had staggered through the fog of another devastating broken heart, and I had counseled and cried with friends when they were trying to survive their own relationship train wrecks. Folks on social media were getting engaged, jumping brooms, and enjoying the joyful experience of love, but in real life, I was surrounded by evidence of how dangerous that emotion could be. Our love lives were the subject of constant research and examination, and I was so over-immersed in dismal numbers — like the data from the U. Census Bureau that found nearly 40 percent of black women ages 34 to 39 had never been married, compared to 14 percent of their white female peers; or the research that found black women, ages 35 to 45, with a college degree were 15 percent less likely to be married than a white woman without a degree — I convinced myself to just give up on dating and relationships altogether. Statistically, I could become a homeowner.
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Interracial dating has been one of the biggest conversations within the black community. Black men have made it no secret their liking to white women. Regina King recently raised the argument that we as black women still have not become completely comfortable dating outside our race. I recently did a survey on a group of black women regarding their reasons for not dating men who are not of color.
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Just this week, my mum, who was married at 23 and by 25 had her first child, asked as she explained her concerns over my love life. At 24, she says, I should at the very least be engaged. There are three things that are certain for any second-generation African living in Britain: you must graduate, you must marry, and you must have children. Back before the world wide web came along, the love of your life was likely a family friend or a neighbour or a school friend.
Thursday, August 15, Yet at Princeton University, she watched as white friends dated regularly, paired off, and, after graduation, oftentimes got married. That realization launched a research trajectory. For her dissertation, she interviewed women who self-identified as White, Latina, Black, or Asian.